Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
