I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
