do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
