oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
