dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
