forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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