Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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