definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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