The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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