it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i drank out of a bidet.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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