the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
