How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
