Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
