2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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