He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
