Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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