Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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