I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
