You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
