Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
