I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
