I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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