Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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