Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
