I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
