What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize