Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!

(317): View more from Indiana

Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?

(630): View more from Illinois

Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos

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(432): View more from Texas

ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...

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(503): View more from Oregon

Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.

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(234): View more from Ohio

For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.

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(443): View more from Maryland

My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"

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(218): View more from Minnesota

You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.

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(847): View more from Illinois

She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier

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