I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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