for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have already put on my inside pants.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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