How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
