WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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