If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
