He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
