I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
