the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
