I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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