Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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