pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
