Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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