i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
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We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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