I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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