You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it glows. i had to have it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
