Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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