I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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