So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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