Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
