you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
