I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
