so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
