I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
